New Orleans, USA
'Because reading is for nerdy kids and now we're taking over'
Bright lights, spilled drinks!
Although New Orleans is so well-known, Jack has to think of his international audience (all five of you) and the fact that a shocking number of red, white, and blue 'Mericans have yet to experience one of the more culturally interesting cities in the Union. New Orleans is not just a city for drunken frat boys and breast-baring girls with no sense of the future, it is also a city for drunken adult men and wallet-baring women with a sense of style that enjoy the richness of the city. Food, music, liquor, scenery, kitsch, and culture. New Orleans is definitely worthy of an issue.
Live music, cheap liquor, people having fun
What to Do
The French Quarter and Bourbon St. are slightly well known. But also check out any jazz festivals, the waterfront park (for the kids), the museum district, and the striking cemeteries. There is no lack of tourist maps and brochures to procure.
If you have the time, money, and inclination then taking a fan boat can be a neat experience. Ghost and vampire tours are a fun diversion, too. Especially while intoxicated. Maybe not so fun for your guide. . .
Wallet Roll
New Orleans can be shockingly expensive or shockingly cheap; it all depends on how well you plan and what you want. Slightly out of season, you can find very cheap hotel room deals inside the French Quarter. Many festivals and sights are totally free and there is a trolly in town, too.
If you are a backpacker, you should look into couch surfing so you can stay cheap and with a local.
In short, your budget can be almost whatever you want!
How to get There
Many folks drive and fly there. If you're a foreign visitor, then skip LA the city and come to NO in LA the state instead! You will have a much better time. Sorry, LA, but you know it's true.
While Jack was there recently he met a bachelorette party that had taken a train from Florida all the way there, drinking and partying the whole way. Now that is the way to do it!
The French Quarter and Bourbon St. are slightly well known. But also check out any jazz festivals, the waterfront park (for the kids), the museum district, and the striking cemeteries. There is no lack of tourist maps and brochures to procure.
If you have the time, money, and inclination then taking a fan boat can be a neat experience. Ghost and vampire tours are a fun diversion, too. Especially while intoxicated. Maybe not so fun for your guide. . .
Wallet Roll
New Orleans can be shockingly expensive or shockingly cheap; it all depends on how well you plan and what you want. Slightly out of season, you can find very cheap hotel room deals inside the French Quarter. Many festivals and sights are totally free and there is a trolly in town, too.
If you are a backpacker, you should look into couch surfing so you can stay cheap and with a local.
In short, your budget can be almost whatever you want!
How to get There
Many folks drive and fly there. If you're a foreign visitor, then skip LA the city and come to NO in LA the state instead! You will have a much better time. Sorry, LA, but you know it's true.
While Jack was there recently he met a bachelorette party that had taken a train from Florida all the way there, drinking and partying the whole way. Now that is the way to do it!
There are some classy places, too
Drunken Ships in the Night?
Bourbon Street is one giant party. Everyone is drunk and in the streets or drunk and in the bars. It's mostly a college crowd so be aware of that (or be very excited by that). It helps immensely if you got a hotel in the Quarter. "Oh, my place is just around the corner. . . " Boom.
Party Time
Depending on your age and interests the party scene breaks down like this:
College kids- go to Bourbon St. Get hammered on super cheap liquor. Wooo!
30 year olds - go to Bourbon St, too, but check out that music. Now find a balcony and relax.
Above 30 crowd - whatever you want, but you'll probably enjoy the scene just off Bourbon St with real drinks, great live music, and less public urination.
Bourbon Street is one giant party. Everyone is drunk and in the streets or drunk and in the bars. It's mostly a college crowd so be aware of that (or be very excited by that). It helps immensely if you got a hotel in the Quarter. "Oh, my place is just around the corner. . . " Boom.
Party Time
Depending on your age and interests the party scene breaks down like this:
College kids- go to Bourbon St. Get hammered on super cheap liquor. Wooo!
30 year olds - go to Bourbon St, too, but check out that music. Now find a balcony and relax.
Above 30 crowd - whatever you want, but you'll probably enjoy the scene just off Bourbon St with real drinks, great live music, and less public urination.
Those horses are drunk
Jekyll & Hyde
During the day, N.O. is a charming place with incredible live music, food, and sights to be seen. At night, the party goers come out and they take over the Quarter. The same streets are now overtaken with stumbling, laughing, raucous crowds.
Day time is for the museums and fairs, night is for the drinking and the music.
The change occurs as often and simply as day to night and ExJack would consider it part of the city's charm.
Jack's Misadventures
Jack had a few memorable experiences down in the French Quarter and beyond. One time he took the wrong turn down an alley and had to beat cheeks to prevent from getting his cheeks beaten.
On a more positive note, another time he met a beautiful woman at a bar and charmed her with a Shark Attack and a Grenade. They listened to the Blues, got some beads, met some mounted police, and saw quite a bit of drunken dance choreography.
Seal Club
Jack always tells his foreign friends that they need to make a stop and get stuck in The Big Easy. The brashness and charm of its culture makes New Orleans a must-see in the USA!
During the day, N.O. is a charming place with incredible live music, food, and sights to be seen. At night, the party goers come out and they take over the Quarter. The same streets are now overtaken with stumbling, laughing, raucous crowds.
Day time is for the museums and fairs, night is for the drinking and the music.
The change occurs as often and simply as day to night and ExJack would consider it part of the city's charm.
Jack's Misadventures
Jack had a few memorable experiences down in the French Quarter and beyond. One time he took the wrong turn down an alley and had to beat cheeks to prevent from getting his cheeks beaten.
On a more positive note, another time he met a beautiful woman at a bar and charmed her with a Shark Attack and a Grenade. They listened to the Blues, got some beads, met some mounted police, and saw quite a bit of drunken dance choreography.
Seal Club
Jack always tells his foreign friends that they need to make a stop and get stuck in The Big Easy. The brashness and charm of its culture makes New Orleans a must-see in the USA!
Travel Tip# 101: If you're a snorer, invest in those nose strips. You will not make any friends at the hostel if you are keeping everyone awake.
Travel Well Traveled A Bon Couer
You Just Stepped in Pee
(but what did you expect?)
ExJack noticed something very strange when I went on good ol' Trip Advisor to do a quick review of some spots in New Orleans. First, I realized that I don't feel guilty about cheating on TWT because I'm not crazy and my travel log is not sentient. Also TWT regularly goes off on dalliances with that tramp, Google Earth, so she has no right to be jealous. Er, I mean,the second thing I realized is that are review after review of people just raking Bourbon Street over it's bleary, pee-soaked coals because it was a giant, gross party.
Uh, what did they expect? The reputation of Bourbon Street has existed since I first visited New Orleans at the tender age of 13. At that formative age, I saw my first pair of bosoms, my first angry alcoholic so staggeringly drunk he fell face first onto the sidewalk, and the first time I've been conned out of money. Good times.
My point is, even back before Katrina came and showered the wrath of the Old Testament on this heathen Sodom, Bourbon Street was already its own well-known animal: it was the place you went to party. And be a little gross. And be loud. And party some more. It was a place to cut loose and society wouldn't judge you for it (which is actually a noticeable rarity in this puritanical nation of ours).
However, it seems this particular street in one quarter of one huge city is supposed to be family-friendly, clean, well-behaved, and civilized at all hours. During the day, it is surprisingly clean and you can find places to eat and relax while you marvel at the neat architectural style. At night, though, that is when Bourbon Street's top comes off for beads and that's just the way it is. If you don't like that, there are only about a hundred other clubs, bars, and restaurants throughout the city that also offer great atmosphere, amazing live music, and delicious food. Go there.
And certainly don't go around blasting a place for simply being true to its own mythology. This is like the people that travel to Tokyo and complain about the crowds, or the people that visit a desert and remark that its landscape is boring. Even without the amazing foresight resource of the internet, the basic idea of a place should lend itself to a realistic notion of its atmosphere.
Personally, I blame movies and TV. Yes, just like cable news, I'm laying the blame of everything, big or small, on the doorstep of the entertainment industry. In all seriousness though, I think people see the cleaner, infinitely more sterile New Orleans of the movies and expect that life is going to have its own soundtrack, proper lighting, edits, and timing just like on the big screen. I don't mean that people actually confuse movies with reality, but our media has an undeniable influence on our expectations.
Before you start thinking ol Jack is taking the piss, just remember back to when you were growing up: what did you imagine parties were going to be like? Going to clubs? Sex? Did what you saw on the big and small screen set up some expectations?
When the actors are at a huge street party, the music isn't so loud you can't hear their lines. No one slips in a puddle of vomit and breaks a heel (or if they do it is played for laughs and not the real-life, disgusting pain in the ass that it is). Sure, the crowds are there in our minds, but not the smell or the jostling of trying to get through a packed blues bar to find the head. It turns out that reality does not have proper blocking.
So let's all agree to let Bourbon Street transform into a coked out, sorority girl at night, just as we agree that London is charming, if expensive, Venice is enchanting, if smelly, and Vegas is called Sin City for a reason. If you're looking for family fun or a quiet night out, there are only about 10,000 other locations scattered across this great land. Otherwise, come open up those buttons on that black Puritan shirt, show a little ankle, and come enjoy a Shark Attack while stumbling into an impromptu dance contest before nearly getting trampled by a mounted policeman. You will probably step in some pee, but you might also get some beads, hear some stellar music, get more than a little tipsy, and will surely come back with plenty of stories.
(but what did you expect?)
ExJack noticed something very strange when I went on good ol' Trip Advisor to do a quick review of some spots in New Orleans. First, I realized that I don't feel guilty about cheating on TWT because I'm not crazy and my travel log is not sentient. Also TWT regularly goes off on dalliances with that tramp, Google Earth, so she has no right to be jealous. Er, I mean,the second thing I realized is that are review after review of people just raking Bourbon Street over it's bleary, pee-soaked coals because it was a giant, gross party.
Uh, what did they expect? The reputation of Bourbon Street has existed since I first visited New Orleans at the tender age of 13. At that formative age, I saw my first pair of bosoms, my first angry alcoholic so staggeringly drunk he fell face first onto the sidewalk, and the first time I've been conned out of money. Good times.
My point is, even back before Katrina came and showered the wrath of the Old Testament on this heathen Sodom, Bourbon Street was already its own well-known animal: it was the place you went to party. And be a little gross. And be loud. And party some more. It was a place to cut loose and society wouldn't judge you for it (which is actually a noticeable rarity in this puritanical nation of ours).
However, it seems this particular street in one quarter of one huge city is supposed to be family-friendly, clean, well-behaved, and civilized at all hours. During the day, it is surprisingly clean and you can find places to eat and relax while you marvel at the neat architectural style. At night, though, that is when Bourbon Street's top comes off for beads and that's just the way it is. If you don't like that, there are only about a hundred other clubs, bars, and restaurants throughout the city that also offer great atmosphere, amazing live music, and delicious food. Go there.
And certainly don't go around blasting a place for simply being true to its own mythology. This is like the people that travel to Tokyo and complain about the crowds, or the people that visit a desert and remark that its landscape is boring. Even without the amazing foresight resource of the internet, the basic idea of a place should lend itself to a realistic notion of its atmosphere.
Personally, I blame movies and TV. Yes, just like cable news, I'm laying the blame of everything, big or small, on the doorstep of the entertainment industry. In all seriousness though, I think people see the cleaner, infinitely more sterile New Orleans of the movies and expect that life is going to have its own soundtrack, proper lighting, edits, and timing just like on the big screen. I don't mean that people actually confuse movies with reality, but our media has an undeniable influence on our expectations.
Before you start thinking ol Jack is taking the piss, just remember back to when you were growing up: what did you imagine parties were going to be like? Going to clubs? Sex? Did what you saw on the big and small screen set up some expectations?
When the actors are at a huge street party, the music isn't so loud you can't hear their lines. No one slips in a puddle of vomit and breaks a heel (or if they do it is played for laughs and not the real-life, disgusting pain in the ass that it is). Sure, the crowds are there in our minds, but not the smell or the jostling of trying to get through a packed blues bar to find the head. It turns out that reality does not have proper blocking.
So let's all agree to let Bourbon Street transform into a coked out, sorority girl at night, just as we agree that London is charming, if expensive, Venice is enchanting, if smelly, and Vegas is called Sin City for a reason. If you're looking for family fun or a quiet night out, there are only about 10,000 other locations scattered across this great land. Otherwise, come open up those buttons on that black Puritan shirt, show a little ankle, and come enjoy a Shark Attack while stumbling into an impromptu dance contest before nearly getting trampled by a mounted policeman. You will probably step in some pee, but you might also get some beads, hear some stellar music, get more than a little tipsy, and will surely come back with plenty of stories.
Travel Tip#44: Strong hand sanitizer will allow you to pet those cute puppies, kitties, goats, etc. that you come across. Always keep a little bottle around.
Dr. Jekyll
During the time spent with the harsh mistress, Daylight, the French Quarter resembles a lazy, charming little throwback to the architectural style that gives it its name. The streets are wide and rather uncrowded for a big city, most of the bars have their windows open and family-friendly music playing, and there is nary a pool of vomit to be seen. I really must commend the nightly cleaning crews as they are like stagehands in ninja-ing the crap out of all that crap every night.
Even if you're in town to party, make sure you spend some time during the quiet daylight hours here, too!
Even if you're in town to party, make sure you spend some time during the quiet daylight hours here, too!
Mr. Hyde
Ah, the moon comes up and a strange, bestial transformation occurs throughout the Quarter. The lights fade, the hip-hop begins to filter out into the shadowy streets, the 'Wooooooo' girls emerge from their strange lairs. The street becomes packed with people, most of them at various levels of inebriation, and they all mix in with: googly-eyed high school kids that can't go into any buildings, police on horseback, religious folks carrying actual crosses, parents who have brought their toddlers out into the streets, and perhaps a few locals grumbling their way through the crowds to get to a live show.
Just being able to open carry in an American city is a thrill (how sad, I know). The spontaneous mass-dancing that breaks out in the middle of the street is a trip and there will be many, many breasts flashed about.
It's dirty, it's raw, it's fun as hell.
Just being able to open carry in an American city is a thrill (how sad, I know). The spontaneous mass-dancing that breaks out in the middle of the street is a trip and there will be many, many breasts flashed about.
It's dirty, it's raw, it's fun as hell.
Bars, Clubs, Restaurants, Shops
It's a little bit of a hodgepodge, but The Quarter has many great places to stop in and grab that drink or souvenir or even artwork. It's interesting to see the upscale shops mixed in with the more tourist trap places (though I can tell over the years how post-Katrina gentrification is pushing out the more trashy little shops in favor of some expensive art and antique boutiques). Many places were closed at night, but it made for neat photos into the darkened shops.
Fine Dining
One thing that New Orleans is famous for is the incredible cuisine. Whatever you're in the mood for, you can find a nice place to eat there. Jack and his fellow traveler had a delicious breakfast while listening to live music, ate a neat lunch inside an old bank, and had a fancy dinner at a huge, famous restaurant.
Satchmo Festival
With lots of music (of course) and some interesting costumes, the festival was a fun time. Jack did some listening and some dancing and the he got an Icee because he's a gangster.
Around Town
There's much more to the city than just the French Quarter and we decided to take some trolley rides and hoof about to see what we could see. Rather than just the other side of the mountain, we found a slowly recovering waterfront, a pretty museum district, and some neat, off-beat murals. It was hot, but as long as you pack some water, sunscreen, and a desire to sweat out all that alcohol you'll be fine.
Cemetery Stroll
New Orleans has some very interesting cemeteries, quite unique for America. Due to the possibility of rising waters, they favor having mausoleums and tombs instead of graveyards as most of the rest of the country does. This creates strange, long alleyways and winding paths through the various buildings. The decorations and architecture on some of the monuments is interesting, too.
New Orleans Movie
More than just o-cajun
Where else can you get sharks in your drink?
New Orleans is one of America's cultural treasures. While the good ol' US of A has loads of great cities and heaps of bashing towns and a smattering of smart villages, I think we still struggle sometimes to project a unified vision of a cultural history. It's not surprising, since our country is so comparatively young. So, while Las Vegas has all the brashness, New York has the cultural stew, Washington DC has the pomp, New Orleans is left with just heaping helpings of a unique culture. The fact that some of it has been washed away by the storms is a particularly sad notion.
However, New Orleans will always be a special place to Jack. It's not just a party city (like Las Vegas) or a historically significant city (like Boston), or a genteel southern city (like St. Augustine), or a musical powerhouse (like Memphis): it's a crazy combination of all those things. And that is pretty badass.
However, New Orleans will always be a special place to Jack. It's not just a party city (like Las Vegas) or a historically significant city (like Boston), or a genteel southern city (like St. Augustine), or a musical powerhouse (like Memphis): it's a crazy combination of all those things. And that is pretty badass.
